Category: Blog

On an evening during the mid 1990’s, I sat at a local bar named Waldo’s.  It’s what you’d expect from a bar, except that they also played live music.  Occasionally, The Beatniks would play here; they covered many classic tunes.  I remember mostly the Beatles covers.  I hang with some of the friends that work at the cafeteria in the next building.

Naturally, I chat with a number of other people at the bar; one sharply dressed Indian man chats with me for a bit.  Eventually, he pauses and declares, “Isn’t it ironic, here we talk… both of us similar as Indians, yet different.”  I know precisely what he meant.  He immigrated from the Asian country of India, and I am (Native American) Indian.  Except I’m not an Indigenous person, not even close.  I was born from two Chinese parents. 

Continue reading “Learning about ‘presenting as’” →

While I won’t say that I’m a great tennis enthusiast, I watched a number of matches between iconic players in my teens.  Naturally, I enjoyed watching John McEnroe, the ‘Bad Boy’ of tennis as well as Jimmy Connors.  I can still hear McEnroe’s voice bellowing from the tennis court, “You cannot be serious!  That ball was on the line!”.

I recently watched an old video clip of McEnroe and Connors in a match.  First, while Connors served the game, McEnroe lost a point on a close call.  Next, McEnroe went on a minutes-long tirade about the absurdity of the call.  Connors simply stood and watched in disbelief of the tantrum.  Of course, the officials didn’t budge, and the call remained.  Once game play finally resumed, Connors launched his next two serves deep into the stands, resulting in a double fault.

Continue reading “Thinking through diversity” →

As I grew up in Florida in my teens, we spent many summer days in the movie theaters.  During the 1980’s we did not have access to the internet, of course.  We got the listings for the movies at each theater and their show times from the local newspaper.  Alternatively, you may also call the phone number for the movie theater; each theater established a phone line that played their listings and times on repeat.  My sisters and I had a handful of these numbers committed to memory.  I swear that I’m not making this up.

Today, the movie experience is vastly different.  First, we open a web browser on the computer or mobile app on the phone.  Second, we pick the movie and time in our favorite theater days ahead of time.  Next, we select the seats that we want or alternatively pick a different time if we can’t find good seats.  Enter your credit card number and reserve those seats.  Upon arriving at the theater, simply show them the QR code and head to your seats.  You don’t need to handle cash, nor do you need paper tickets anymore.

Continue reading “The web search as the societal mirror” →

I grew up in Fort Lauderdale, that spanned from ages 10 to 18 when I left for college.  I only went as far as Miami for school, less than an hour’s drive from my home in Lauderdale; I spent my impressionable years in the southeast coast of Florida.  While the culture felt generally pretty progressive, it still reflected the 1980’s and painted a vastly different picture than the Seattle area in the new millennium.  Once, you stir in the heavy Cuban influence in Miami, it gives it a very distinctive flavor.

Naturally, my community deviated even further from what is generically ‘South Florida’.  Growing up Chinese American, this blue-collar, Cantonese-speaking community held their own set of values.  While we didn’t have a centralized physical location, like a Chinatown or International District, we still casually knew each other.  We generally prioritized service and family over love.  By the time I left Florida in 1991, I knew precisely one Chinese couple who had gotten divorced.  People stayed in loveless marriages.

Continue reading “Love and marriage” →

In 2005, I contemplated getting a new car.  Sports cars, especially two-seater convertibles, have fascinated me for many years.  As such, I finally made my peace with getting my own midlife crisis car.  I made a short list of cars and periodically scheduled a test drive with the local dealership.  Among the cars on my list were:  Honda S2000, BMW Z4 (or possibly the Z3), and the Lotus Elise.  Both the S2000 and the Elise were going to be more difficult to test drive, since the dealerships did not have any in stock.

On one particular sunny weekday afternoon, I arrive at the BMW dealership.  I exchange documents with the salesperson in order for me to go on a test drive.  We take the top down on the car and climb in.  We zip away as I proceed to go on a well-intentioned joy ride.  The salesperson pitches how this is probably the most fun car to drive with the possible exception of the Lotus Elise.  Next, I saw the flashing lights behind me.

Continue reading “The degree of the crime” →

I moved from Puerto Rico to Florida as I started the fifth grade.  I attended a bilingual classroom in an otherwise English-speaking elementary school.  Students from all grades filled that classroom; I sat next to other students with a kaleidoscope of accents from other Latin American regions.  I was lucky to land in that classroom, since I failed English when I studied it in Puerto Rico.

Moving to Florida overwhelmed me with all the cultural differences, especially in school.  I no longer wore a uniform to school.  I spoke an entirely different language.  We took a break during the middle of our lessons, in a bizarre ritual called ‘recess’.  I mingled with other kids during recess, and I started to learn English in a conversational setting.

Continue reading “Patriotism or religion, pick one.” →

In my infancy, I learned to speak Cantonese at home with my family; I spoke it before any other language.  As I grew up in Puerto Rico, I next learned Spanish.  While I officially learned it in the Catholic school, a block from my home, I also learned it from talking to the locals and watching television.  My parents ran a restaurant, and we spoke to the patrons in Spanish.

As I turned ten, we moved to Florida.  While I studied English in school in Puerto Rico, I failed that class.  I learned English out of necessity when I arrived in Florida and dove into the public school system.  Similarly, I learned through speaking with neighbors and watching television.  Learning a language through a classroom environment lacks the real feel of the language.

Continue reading “Counting your chickens before they hatch” →

Upon first hitting the pandemic, they sent us home to work remotely.  None of us had ever encountered a worldwide contagious health risk.  The initial mail from the office came in on the first week of March 2020; we played it by ear.  That message assured us that we should work remotely for at least three weeks.  They didn’t say that ironically.

As I continued to work from home, I watched the daily updates on the status on the pandemic.  Naturally, news networks broadcast what little information they knew.  We set our groceries aside for three days waiting for the COVID-19 virus to die on those surfaces.  Panic stricken viewers tweeted questions as we collectively watched them scroll across the bottom of that screen.

This included absurd questions like, “Is it safe to pick up take-out from Chinese restaurants?”  A collective “fuck you” from me to everyone who continued to call it the “China Virus”, understanding that it spreads fear and impacts Asian people.  You suck.

Continue reading “Natural curiosity” →

I started driving in Florida in my teens.  While my mom paid the cost of car insurance, I paid for most other expenses with that car.  For instance, I paid to register the car.  In order to renew the car’s registration, I jotted down the odometer reading (total mileage).  At the time, I simply followed instructions and didn’t obsess about why they wanted this information.  I simply rushed to get in and out of the DMV as quickly as possible.

Eventually, I learned why they noted the mileage.  They set the cost of renewing your registration to be proportional to the amount of wear-and-tear on the roads.  The more you ‘damaged’ the roads, the higher the cost to register your vehicle.  They calculated this fee from two numbers:  the weight of your vehicle and the distance you drove it.  The rationale?  It should cost more to register a 2000 Suburban driven 25k miles than a 2023 Miata driven 2k miles.

Continue reading “Taxes and representation” →

Many years ago, I sat in a meeting where we composed a questionnaire to send to our organization.  We coordinated these questions with our human resources department and one question they suggested adding was, “What are your preferred pronouns?”  Although I certainly worked in the DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) space in the company, this practice was unfamiliar to me.  Once I understood that it implied gender identity, I pushed back on the question.  In principle, I had no problems with transgender workmates but believed this was a bit more ‘in your face’ than we wanted to be.

One teammate pushed back: they disproportionately target this community.  Who, if not us, would champion this cause?  To advocate for a community which you understand and with which you identify comes easily.  To empathize and advocate for a community which you don’t understand nor with which you identify becomes considerably tougher.  Ultimately, they were right, of course, even if it took time for me to realize it.

Continue reading “Should you keep the tip?” →