I grew up Chinese (unyieldingly rational?) and have a natural inclination for engineering problems. No, these are not correlated. Some allege that I have artistic tendencies too. Many years ago, I got a Wacom tablet to draw on my computer. However, it worked great except for one thing, I naturally use my right hand for everything. Allow me to elaborate; I had both a mouse and drawing tablet to the right of my keyboard and in order to use them both interchangeably I needed to move the mouse pad and tablet back and forth. My engineering mind decided that I could fix this with a very simple adjustment… I’d move one left of the keyboard and start to use it with my left hand.
I learned to operate a mouse left-handed
I know what some of you are thinking… You did what? Yup, I started to use the mouse left-handed. First, I understood that in order for this to work, I needed to both do this consistently and not allow myself to revert when it became frustrating. Second, I simply lifted the mouse and put it on my left side; incidentally, I also switched the mouse buttons. Third, I did this across all my computers; between work and home that accounted for about five computers. Finally, I stuck with it, even when it was frustrating should a 10 second task take over a minute.
The first two days were absolutely painful; I felt like a child learning to walk. It took about two weeks before I could do most things equally well with the mouse. I’m still better using my right hand for pixel-to-pixel detail, but I rarely do that with regular computer work. It’s a great convenience, when my right wrist gets a little tender. I simply put it on a brace and use my left hand to drive the mouse. This is all because I was too lazy to move the mousepad to use the Wacom tablet. Yes, I’m a freak; doing this amused me.
Is using one hand over the other an arbitrary choice?
First, go grab a pen or pencil and a piece of paper. Humor me; I’ll wait. Second, write a complete sentence the way you would naturally. Now, pick up that writing instrument with your other hand. Finally, try to write that very same sentence. Difficult isn’t it? I understand that 1% of you are ambidextrous; I envy you and assume you can follow along.
It doesn’t matter if you’re dominant with your right or left hand, writing with your non-dominant hand is going to feel awkward and unfamiliar. Yet, you choose to pick up that pen or pencil with one particular hand. So which is it? Is it a natural inclination? Or is it a choice? If it’s simply a choice, why can’t others stipulate that you choose differently? And many did…
The world prefers the right-handed
Left-handed compose roughly 10% of the world population, yet much of the world is designed for the right-handed. Neither of the major makers of computer mice (Logitech or Microsoft) make left-handed ergonomic mice. The logos on your beloved mugs generally face right-handed people. Scissors, whenever available, are designed for right hands (unless you go out of your way to get lefty scissors); the blades are hinged the opposite way for left hands. In fact, the word sinister (meaning evil) originates from the same word as “on the left-hand side” in Latin.
Teachers historically moved pens and pencils from their pupils’ left hands and forced them into their right hands. A friend jokes that he writes equally poorly with either hand because teachers forced him to write with his right hand. Thankfully, few teachers do this anymore. I suspect the reason why we read (and write) from left to right is because most are right-handed; writing with your left hand smudges or gets ink on your hand as it dries. Though at this stage, we don’t actively dislike or discriminate against the left-handed. We simply can’t be bothered to make concessions for only 10% of the population; we find it to be too much work. Especially since they won’t likely make a stink about it.
We made our peace with our left-handed friends
As we grow collectively wiser, we no longer look at the left-handed with distain. We may look with wonder as we watch someone contort themselves so that their left writing hand circles all the way around the paper to the right, but we generally accept them for who they are. We have gotten better at empathy, compassion, and inclusivity.
Why don’t we simply extend this courtesy to elements other than hand dominance? If we have crossed the threshold of accepting certain truths about the people we love, even when different and unfamiliar to us, why not other truths? Can we not be as empathetic, compassionate, and inclusive about who they love and their gender identity?
“No, wait… That’s different”
Actually, it is distressingly similar. The only difference is the timeframe. I discussed these issues (gay couples and transgendered people) with many friends and these are common responses:
- It’s unnatural
- It’s sinful/evil
- Life is easier if you’re like everyone else
- It’s a choice
- You won’t be able to have children
Literally all but the last have been used about being left-handed. Sure, people did not voice these recently, but they have decades ago. Meanwhile, let’s entertain the idea that we can look forward a few decades and we discover that the whole concept of gay couples or transgender people is no longer an issue. Why would I suggest that we may have a change of heart? Because it has happened before:
- We believed the Earth was flat. Whoops.
- The Catholic Church discouraged Galileo from pursuing the idea that the Earth revolved around the Sun. Ahem.
- People of different races shouldn’t marry. Excuse me?
- We should not integrate schools. Oh, sure…
I could go on, but you get the point. Certainly, we opposed these ‘radical’ ideas simply because we were resistant to change, because they’re not founded on truth or anything rational.
“You’re pushing these ideas on us too quickly”
I am not making this up; a friend expressed this idea to me in conversation. However, I’m not convinced that he truly understood what he said nor how it sounded. While I find a wealth of objections to this response, I’ll boil it down to two points.
First, let’s talk about the ‘what’ portion of that assertion. We do not push these ideas on you. When we legalized gay marriage, we are not suggesting that you participate in a gay orgy. We do not give you any direction in how you should conduct your life, with one exception… All of us have the right to marry the person we love, independent of their gender. Stop obstructing those rights; it doesn’t cost you anything. They want the same rights you have; no more, no less.
Second, let’s now discuss the ‘when’ portion of that assertion. Did you really just say “too quickly”? 🤨 Okay, let’s dissect just that clause. “Too quickly” implies that there is an appropriate time when these ideas will finally become palatable to you, so tell me… When is it? Seriously, I’ll entertain allowing you to throw that tantrum if you tell me when you’ll finally grow up.
Why we can no longer wait
I’ll tell you a story from my childhood, not to gather sympathy, but to crystalize the point. A group of boys bullied me on the bus from my middle school for being a ‘Chinaman’. They spat gum in my hair and elbowed me as I struggled to escape their grasp and exit the bus. Now, imagine that you rode that bus with me and slowly warmed up to the idea of speaking up on my behalf. It took you four long months to warm up to the idea of doing the right thing. You could’ve spared me four months of humiliation and suffering.
The problem is that when you start from a place of empathy, compassion and inclusivity, you’ll intuitively see what may take others decades to realize. We grow impatient when watching these others take three right turns to make a left. When we see our destination three blocks away, we don’t want to drive all over town to get there.
Ask yourself why Richard and Mildred Loving needed to be sentenced to a year in prison for simply being married, while people ‘warmed up to the idea’ that mixed couples are legally permissible. For some it took decades to marry the person they love, simply because they’re the same gender; this is okay? Ask yourself why years of loyal military service can be annulled simply because of who you love. Are you really telling us that who we are and who we love is a ‘choice’?
The ideas themselves are not the problem. The glacial pace in which some come to terms with these ideas is certainly a problem but isn’t the problem. The instrumental problem is the hypocritical disposition by which they trample on others’ rights in order to slow down progress, like this.