On typical Florida afternoons, my time was filled with reruns of older television shows and some newer ones. I confessed to my wife that a disproportionate part of my English education was watching “Three’s Company” on television; this simple truth amused her. We spent those moments crowded around a console television; it was closer to furniture than electronics. The local stations aired “Leave it to Beaver” and “Gilligan’s Island” regularly, and they became an integral part of my childhood. In later years, those afternoons were filled with episodes of “M*A*S*H”. I can remember more details about the members of the 4077th than elements of my own life.
That said, those years weren’t like a scene out of Galaxy Quest. We knew that there was no such ship as the USS Minnow, nor any of that nonsense. Though for many people, it became an idealized view of how life should be, not comedy. June Cleaver became the quintessential mother and wife, who was always well-dressed and didn’t work. That said, if you had observed Earth through our television broadcasts the way the aliens did in Galaxy Quest, you may have come to one misleading conclusion:
Planet Earth only had Caucasian people until about 1970.
Television broadcasted what the audiences would find palatable
This meant that in the 1950’s and 1960’s the shows reflected what the audiences wanted to see. This was mostly the trials and tribulations of… white people. If we look at the span of shows from that era, BIPOC people are conspicuously absent. The producers of these shows and the networks intentionally and despicably erased us from the scene that is all of American life, much like you may tear off your ex from a photograph due to painful memories. The subtext here is that our mere existence was somehow unpalatable to them.
I will let you in on a little secret. We were always here. Even as the Beaver urged people to “spit off my bridge” or Wally invested in Jet Electro, there were millions of us here all along. They subtly told minorities that in an idealized world, we wouldn’t be here. There were some exceptions of course, like Star Trek, but those were very few and often controversial.
On one hand, they’ll boast with pride with labels like “The Melting Pot” and the “Land of Opportunity”. Though for decades they resisted displaying an iota of that diversity on the airwaves. Eventually, it became a matter of money. Once women and minorities grew to be a large enough demographic with money to spend, they allowed them into this viewport of society. Eventually, it became uncouth to exclude people.
Subsequently, we understood that we simply can’t deny that any of these minorities exist. They may not have liked my Chinese face in their child’s class photo, but they didn’t deny that I existed.
Even if this type of prejudice is horrific, what may be even worse? They may even deny your existence.
“Your predicament is your own fault, or you’ve been corrupted”
Each day we go through our tasks without thinking about them. First, we slice some strawberries for breakfast. Next, we may scribble down a note; it’s perhaps an address or phone number. Later, we navigate through message on our computer. All of these actions were willful; we chose when and how to do them. Now, do them again with your other hand; do them in a way that is unnatural to you.
They concede that there are Black, Indigenous, Asian, etc. people in this world. I’m here; I’m tangible. They don’t rationalize that I’m wrong for being Asian, even if they hate me enough to push me into an oncoming train. They understand that I didn’t choose to be Asian; I simply am.
If there is a form of prejudice that is even more insidious, is one where they’ll even deny your existence. They’ll try to gaslight you into believing that it’s all in your head. Similarly, they’ll allege that it’s simply a choice, and you’re choosing incorrectly. They’ll say you’re not really gay, transgender, or non-binary. Not, really. They’ll maintain that there’s no such thing. They’ll tell you that this ‘problem’ is correctable, and what is natural to you is inconsequential. Meanwhile, they’ll rationalize there’s an order to the way things should be, and it’s incompatible with your sexual orientation or gender identity.
They would deny you the simple human dignity of being your most authentic self.
Then, they’ll go back to slicing their strawberries, scribbling their notes, or clicking on items on the computer screen with their mouse. They do it using the hand that is most natural to them, and they simply don’t see the irony.
They are wrong
Don’t listen to them. There is nothing wrong with who you are and who you love. I may not personally know you, but I love the idea of you. You risked alienation from your friends and family, and tragically sometimes they did disown you. You survived a world that has been cruel and hostile, a world that intentionally and continuously denies your very existence. For those who have made this journey, you have emerged, perhaps battled and beaten, but with a greater sense of who you are.
There is nothing more fundamental than who you are and who you love. Horrifically, there are people in this world who fear the mere idea of you. They would lock you into a cage alone and punish those who will help you. They will brand your parents as child abusers for simply loving you and showing you compassion; they’d use a hot iron if they could. Tragically, they will legislate for everyone to abandon you; their xenophobic sense of order is more important than your wellbeing.
I respect you for having made this journey and only regret that I haven’t made it just a little bit easier for you. Fortunately, there are many in this world who will welcome you precisely how you are. I will do everything that I know to fight for your rights. I will risk punishment and retribution for your fair share of humanity. If you ask why, the answer is surprisingly simple. Because if the tables were turned, I’d want someone fighting with me… my standing with you, risking punishment and retribution, is infinitely more tolerable than knowing that you’re out there alone. Ultimately, the answer is simply because it is the right thing to do. If you can be anything in this world, be kind.
What about the misguided haters?
There are still those who allege that we are ‘confusing’ them. What they don’t see is that this is like withholding insulin from a diabetic. They’ll use broken logic and rationalize that the reason why there are so many gay and transgendered people is that we’re confusing them into becoming part of that community. Strangely, I’ve even heard the expressions ‘indoctrinating’ or even ‘recruiting’.
I’ll let you in on a little secret, much like the television shows of the 1950’s and 1960’s, just because you didn’t see minorities back then, doesn’t mean that they didn’t exist. Similarly, our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters were always here, even if you didn’t see them. There have been two key changes to our culture that explains the differences.
First, they can finally be who they are with less fear of ridicule and retribution. They won’t be rounded up like criminals in a nightclub. We will prosecute those who will harm them because they’re human like the rest of us; they matter.
Second, they can finally understand that which makes them different. They have known all along that they were different, but now they can finally put a name to it. Much like dyslexia, we’re not inventing it; we’re simply describing it to them.
For those of you who are looking back longingly at the simpler days of June Cleaver, please understand that world never actually existed. The Indigenous, Asian, Black, and Latin-X people were always here; you won’t deny that. What we also need you to understand is that our gay, transgender, and non-binary citizens were also here all along. We’re simply asking that all of us may live with the same dignity as you.
Nay, we’re not asking; we’re demanding our humanity. It is the right thing to do.