Author: Frank

My parents immigrated three times, and twice during my lifetime.  First, they married in Hong Kong, then moved to Spain.  A couple of years past my birth, we moved to Puerto Rico.  We lived there until my father passed.  We planned to move to Florida, and the rest of us did within a year.  I won’t say that my life was full of strife; life is what you make of it.  I will say that it gave me a different perspective, and oftentimes it wasn’t voluntary nor necessarily welcomed.

I have spent my entire life as an outsider.  Among the most interesting parts of this difference is accountability.  In my high school English class, I was once called “sumo wrestler” by our class president.  My proportional response was to call him a “spook”.  Yes, he was black, and I knew it was a racial slur.  The moment that word escaped my lips, our teacher barked at me.  His uttering a slur was fine, but somehow my uttering a slur was not.  This incident repeated itself weeks later with precisely the same results.

Continue reading “Establishing paternal accountability” →

I reflect back to some of what I learned in high school.  I remember sitting in Mr. Watter’s class while he introduced us to terms like dogmatic, which at the time I thought it was a cross between dog and automatic.  He also went into some detail about some of our social struggles in our history.  Subsequently, he mentioned Senator Joseph McCarthy and his unrelenting search for Communism, even where it didn’t exist.  Why is this unusual?  He taught English, not history, but he introduced me to relevant topics about our history.

I sat in my American History class while we discussed a wealth of different elements of history.  The class ran through the entire year, not just a semester.  Mr. Barnes, whom we affectionally called ‘Coach’, taught that class.  Naturally, we talked about the Civil War and slavery, but we simply couldn’t omit it.  It is an inextricable and undeniable part of our history.  We discussed World War II, but the Japanese internment camps only got about five minutes.  Even upon this terse mention, it was filled with rationalizations about how afraid we were.  We consequently barely mention about how those Japanese, most of them United States citizens, were unjustly impacted.

Continue reading “Why teaching about the Tulsa race massacre matters” →

I got into a fight on school grounds when I attended Parkway Middle School; I think it occurred during seventh grade.  It was a stupid fight; in fact, I’m not sure that it was even a fight.  This is what transpired.  First, my friend Sean and I trash talked about something; honestly, I can’t even remember what it was.  Second, it turned into shoving, with the lame excuse that one of us was violating the other’s space.  Next, we threw punches.  Honestly, we didn’t try to hurt each other.  Other kids surrounded us; each of them fascinated by the altercation and unwilling to do anything to stop it.  We continued a bit like this.

Continue reading “Accountability versus culpability” →

It’s sometime in the mid-2000’s.  I am a bachelor and grocery shop on weekday evenings.  Today’s trip is like any other such trip.  First, I walk through the brightly lit aisles to gather my items; this includes produce, staples, and a 12-pack of Coke.  Next, I go through the checkout to pay for my items; I often use self-checkout these days.  Finally, I simply pack the items into my car and head home.  Today that last step ends up occurring a bit differently.

Continue reading “The problem with ‘reasonable’ and ‘threatened’” →

During my childhood, the sibling rivalry in our home manifested itself in complicated and nuanced ways.  I grew up with two sisters, four years my senior and one year my junior.  My father passed away when I was nine, and thus I ended up growing up as the only male in the house.  As such, in a Chinese culture that is predominantly patriarchal, it similarly colored many of my experiences.  Depending on the nature of the situation, I may possess an implicit seniority over my older sister.  It’s something that is cultural which I navigated strictly by ‘feel’.  To delicately unwrap all those interactions would take more time and space than this simple post.  Similarly, to attribute an outcome as a product of culture (whether Chinese, Spanish, or American) or as a function of our individual personalities would be even more complex.

Continue reading “Sibling rivalry at a national level” →

On an otherwise normal afternoon, I have a dentist appointment and leave my office with ample time to make my dental cleaning.  It’s a beautiful day and I drove my Lotus Elise, a tiny little sports car.  Naturally, there are many ways to get there, but today I elect to go on surface streets.  Next, I drive up a residential road on a mild hill that overlooks the freeway as it crests on an all-way stop intersection.  I start to coast down that hill; my destination is only about five minutes away.  As I pass a cross street, I see a figure jump out into sight; he wore a uniform and wielded a radar gun.  He motions for me to pull over.  I was busted.

Continue reading “Having given up on ‘value of life’, it’s now about ‘accountability’” →