Author: Frank

For those who have read my posts consistently, you’ll know that I was bullied through school.  It started at Parkway Middle School in Fort Lauderdale.  It mostly occurred the moment I got off the bus, where I lacked the safety of adult supervision.  The bullies mostly pushed me and knocked me to the ground while I walked home, sobbing from the humiliation, eventually stopping when their walk home took them down a different path.  Once, I endured their spitting gum in my hair as they targeted the “Chinaman”.

Upon arriving at South Plantation High School, the bullying didn’t necessarily stop, but it morphed.  While I no longer feared for my physical safety, psychological bullying took its place.  Classmates uttered cruel and demeaning comments, loudly enough for many to hear, but softly enough to avoid detection by an adult.  Still, in a handful of instances, even when our teacher heard such words (like “whale” or “sumo wrestler”), they reasoned that it didn’t rise to the level of disciplinary action.

Continue reading “The silence of our friends” →

Many years ago, a friend suggested that I move to his company. He maintained that I qualified for several software engineering positions, and he would get a referral bonus. He even marveled that it’d be a larger sum since I, an Asian male, qualified as a diverse candidate. I never took him up on that offer, but he joked later that he looked up the details and for software engineering at his company, Asian men were not considered diverse candidates.  Statistically, Asian men are not a minority in this particular population.

As far as minorities go, Asian men are among the most favorable.  Other minorities suffer from different stereotypes involving laziness, illegal activity, or lack of intelligence.  If anything Asian people generally benefit from the stereotype of intelligence.  People may also believe that we’re disproportionately soft-spoken, but that’s not a trait that typically threatens them.  Naturally, kids in school still bullied me for being different, but I navigated adulthood fairly smoothly.

Continue reading “Why you need to care about politics” →

With the new administration, there’s much talk about DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) and its systematic elimination from our government.  For better or worse, DEI has become a dirty word.  We treat it like the new boogeyman.  We don’t need to know what it actually does; all we need to know is that it’s bad.  Gone are the days of COVID-19, when Trump could blame China (and transitively target Asian Americans with hate crimes).  He needs a new target for his blame; this has become DEI.

Naturally, nothing is ever that simple.  We often wince at the label ‘socialist’, and it’s weaponized to elicit images of communist countries.  However, we’ll object to the elimination of social security.  We complain when our roads and bridges deteriorate into disrepair and demand their maintenance.  We envision retirement and access to Medicare.  All these programs are forms of socialism, yet we don’t object to them.  However, despite the name social security, we don’t think of it as socialism.

Continue reading “The Vilification of DEI” →

I first played with Lego bricks as a child in Puerto Rico in the 1970s.  My father owned a restaurant, and I rarely got to play with him during the day.  I have cherished memories of building wild and whimsical structures from brightly colored bricks as we sat on our cold tile floor late at night.  He passed away shortly after that when I was nine.  To this day, those little plastic bricks remain my ethereal line to a father I barely knew.

Over four years ago in 2020, I purchased a set that tickled my fancy.  This is no surprise; I have many Lego sets.  However, this set was one for The White House.  Though I might have built it whenever I wanted, the notion of building it during the Trump presidency filled me with profound sadness.  I refused; I set it aside.  On January 20, 2021, shortly after President Biden’s inauguration, I finally opened the roughly 1500-piece set and started building it.  I finished by evening, but still on Inauguration Day.

Continue reading “Dismantling my White House” →

I connected a Wacom drawing tablet to my home computer many years ago.  I used it with drawing programs on the computer rather than a conventional mouse.  While it worked well, my next dilemma was the need to switch back and forth between the mouse and the drawing pen.  To streamline the use of both devices, I did what made sense at the time.  I started to use one of these left-handed; I chose to move the mouse.

Having about half a dozen computers between home and work, I changed all the mice to be left-handed.  I reversed the function of the two mouse buttons and moved the mouse to the other side.  I endured the first week with excruciating futility; by the end of the second week, I could accomplish most tasks without much struggle.  However, this little activity taught me more than mere muscle memory, it gave me a new perspective on my biases.

Continue reading “The myth around racial guilt” →

A friend once chatted me out of the blue with an accusation like, “Stop making me look like an asshole!”  This is a friend with whom I had no recent interactions, so my mind naturally raced to find the offending reference to him; I found none.  However, I didn’t deny that I did it, I don’t remember doing it.  My disposition leaned towards the apologetic while I continued to chat to determine the source of the offense.

As it happens, the post that offended my friend did not refer to him directly.  It didn’t even refer to a particular political party or even group.  It simply referred to a behavior.  I posted a link to this article, with the following comment:

This is the definition of homophobia:
“dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people.”

Here’s an idea, if you don’t like being labeled homophobic, maybe you shouldn’t pass laws that are prejudiced against homosexual people.

It’s quite literally what it means. Either own the fact that you are homophobic or repeal the law; I’d prefer the latter.

Continue reading “The Ambiguity of Mind Reading” →

On a lazy Sunday evening, I channel surfed and came upon an episode of This is Life with Lisa Ling.  I’ve watched several episodes before, and I found them to be deeply interesting.  Lisa Ling does an amazing job of covering the topics objectively, without judgement.  Somehow her compassion and humanity permeate each episode, independent of topic.  She presents the topics in a way that we see and empathize with the people, not merely flatten them and bucket them into a particular category.

This particular episode, “Interracial Love” (Season 9, Episode 2) talks about the stigma and challenges of couples of different races.  I, a Chinese man, coupled with a Caucasian woman, found this episode especially interesting.  Naturally, one story covered how a father broke ties with his son, because he married and had children with a Black woman.  It showed this relationship open up over the course of years.  I found this story both deeply distressing and quietly optimistic.

Continue reading “Freedom to practice your faith” →

In high school, I once asked a potential math teacher if I may double up Algebra 2 and Trigonometry in order to take Calculus on my senior year.  She responded with “I wouldn’t do it unless you’re a mathematical genius.”  Her mere skepticism sufficiently discouraged me from attempting that feat.  While tethering on the edge of humility and confidence, I backed down.  Though in retrospect, I participated in math contests and regularly scored among the top of my class in each subject; I then went on to engineering school.  While I wouldn’t have worded it precisely that way, I was a mathematical genius.

That said, I don’t practice classical electrical engineering for a living, which is the degree I earned when I graduated.  I don’t spend my professional time solving third order differential equations using Laplace transforms.  As a software engineer, I spend most of my time thinking through either discrete mathematics problems or even statistics.  My mind naturally visualizes spatial problems, which makes me especially good at certain activities, like designing parts for 3d printing.

Continue reading “Religious freedom versus discrimination” →

On a late one evening at work during my bachelor days, I converse with a friend.  We disagree on many issues, but we discuss the topics civilly.  On this particular evening, we talk about the US currency.  Here’s the issue, the first sentence in our first amendment outlines freedom of religion, specifically:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion

And much like zero is a number, freedom of religion must therefore include freedom of lack of religion.  In other words, US citizens are equally free to practice agnosticism, atheism, polytheism, and just for completeness Satanism.  If that is the case, doesn’t printing (or minting) the phrase “In God We Trust” on our currency, exclude the aforementioned groups?  And if that’s the case, should we remove it?

However, this post will not discuss that phrase in our currency.  The conversation turned late, and I wanted to leave for home.  Instead of simply telling my friend that it’s late and need to leave, I turn to one of my favorite phrases with which to finish my conversations with him, “You treat me this way, after we built your railroads?“

Continue reading “A history lesson, 140 years in the making” →

I worked through college, nearly every weekend.  I waited on tables in a number of Chinese restaurants.  Mostly, I allowed the customers enough time to browse through the menu and jotted down their orders.  Occasionally, I would answer their questions about particular menu items.  Every once in a while, they’d ask me to recommend an item or help them narrow it down.  After that it was about timing.

At a very basic level, waiting on tables simply involves getting people what they asked for.  Naturally, subtle differences will enhance the experience.  Timeliness matters, of course.  Good presentation gets you brownie points.  However, some exceptions exist; you can’t serve alcohol to underage drinkers.  Though generally, that’s close to it; you get people what they want.

Continue reading “And marriage for all” →