Author: Frank

Strangely, I don’t remember much from my high school prom.  I went stag when most of my class had dates, and honestly, the entire social expectations dance wasn’t my thing.  However, after years of bullying and ridicule, I had clawed my way back into relevance.  I attended to demonstrate that they would not browbeat me into ‘outsider’ submission, much like my private version of Pretty In Pink.  At least that’s the story I tell myself in my head today.  Truthfully, I did not have this level of self-awareness when I graduated; it gradually developed over the years.

One conversation I remember from that night came from my friend’s date, a college student.  He lamented that although he had turned 19 years old, he was disallowed from drinking alcohol.  Specifically, the legal drinking age in the US wasn’t always 21; for many years, and in many states, it was 18.  To retain its federal funding, Florida also made this transition to 21.

Continue reading “Breach of contract” →

As spring starts and flowers bloom, I settle into an annual tradition.  Baseball season starts in spring.  Those who know me know that I’ve cheered for the Atlanta Braves from the start.  People often follow that discovery with a question (or confusion, if you know my geographical history).  No, I never lived in Atlanta, though I have visited a handful of times.  For the record, I do not follow the American predisposition to cheer for a professional team based on geography.  If anything, it irritates me that others assume that I would follow suit.

In 1982, the Atlanta Braves rocketed from next-to-last in the preceding year into first place through a 13-0 start.  They kept that first-place position in the National League West on the last game of the season versus the Padres by the skin of their teeth.  The start of the baseball season is magical.  The 1982 Braves weaved that magic.  They were the embodiment of the little engine that could.  Geography does not undo that kind of loyalty.

Continue reading “42” →

Early at the University of Miami, friends and I discussed what kinds of things we would do for money.  Naturally, the discussion iterated on both sides of this.  On one side, we discussed the nature of what we’d need to do; on the other, we contemplated the amount of money we’d receive.  At the time, I asserted that no amount of money would lead me to compromise on certain principles.  One friend responded, “Of course, there’s a dollar figure.  A buck’s a buck.”

Naturally, movies like Indecent Proposal lead us to contemplate these very limits of what we’d do and for how much.  However, money by itself is simply an arrangement of digits in an account.  It simply enables us to get a class of products (fancy car) or services (tropical vacation) we may get.  Alternatively, it’s a means to dissipate certain worries (broken car or leaky roof).  Having more money generally means more access, fewer worries, and a better life.

Continue reading “Would you compromise your principles for $19 million?” →

Years ago, we discussed tech at work; if memory serves, it occurred during lunch.  I mentioned I would pick one particular device because it had a “larger screen”.  One friend interrupted me midsentence and corrected me, “It doesn’t have a larger screen, it has higher resolution.”  He was right, of course, that is precisely what I meant; I wanted the extra pixels for more digital elbow room.  I didn’t post an objection, though, at the time, it seemed a bit pedantic.

He later mentioned that misrepresenting facts felt like fingernails on a chalkboard; he felt compelled to correct it.  It felt surreal, like a “sorry, but I’m not sorry” type of apology.  I filed it away as “that’s the way he is” and moved on.  Anyone with a diverse enough group of friends understands that they all have their idiosyncrasies and buttons to push; we learn to navigate them.

Continue reading “The hypocrisy of the word ‘groomer’” →

For those who have read my posts consistently, you’ll know that I was bullied through school.  It started at Parkway Middle School in Fort Lauderdale.  It mostly occurred the moment I got off the bus, where I lacked the safety of adult supervision.  The bullies mostly pushed me and knocked me to the ground while I walked home, sobbing from the humiliation, eventually stopping when their walk home took them down a different path.  Once, I endured their spitting gum in my hair as they targeted the “Chinaman”.

Upon arriving at South Plantation High School, the bullying didn’t necessarily stop, but it morphed.  While I no longer feared for my physical safety, psychological bullying took its place.  Classmates uttered cruel and demeaning comments, loudly enough for many to hear, but softly enough to avoid detection by an adult.  Still, in a handful of instances, even when our teacher heard such words (like “whale” or “sumo wrestler”), they reasoned that it didn’t rise to the level of disciplinary action.

Continue reading “The silence of our friends” →

Many years ago, a friend suggested that I move to his company. He maintained that I qualified for several software engineering positions, and he would get a referral bonus. He even marveled that it’d be a larger sum since I, an Asian male, qualified as a diverse candidate. I never took him up on that offer, but he joked later that he looked up the details and for software engineering at his company, Asian men were not considered diverse candidates.  Statistically, Asian men are not a minority in this particular population.

As far as minorities go, Asian men are among the most favorable.  Other minorities suffer from different stereotypes involving laziness, illegal activity, or lack of intelligence.  If anything Asian people generally benefit from the stereotype of intelligence.  People may also believe that we’re disproportionately soft-spoken, but that’s not a trait that typically threatens them.  Naturally, kids in school still bullied me for being different, but I navigated adulthood fairly smoothly.

Continue reading “Why you need to care about politics” →

With the new administration, there’s much talk about DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) and its systematic elimination from our government.  For better or worse, DEI has become a dirty word.  We treat it like the new boogeyman.  We don’t need to know what it actually does; all we need to know is that it’s bad.  Gone are the days of COVID-19, when Trump could blame China (and transitively target Asian Americans with hate crimes).  He needs a new target for his blame; this has become DEI.

Naturally, nothing is ever that simple.  We often wince at the label ‘socialist’, and it’s weaponized to elicit images of communist countries.  However, we’ll object to the elimination of social security.  We complain when our roads and bridges deteriorate into disrepair and demand their maintenance.  We envision retirement and access to Medicare.  All these programs are forms of socialism, yet we don’t object to them.  However, despite the name social security, we don’t think of it as socialism.

Continue reading “The Vilification of DEI” →

I first played with Lego bricks as a child in Puerto Rico in the 1970s.  My father owned a restaurant, and I rarely got to play with him during the day.  I have cherished memories of building wild and whimsical structures from brightly colored bricks as we sat on our cold tile floor late at night.  He passed away shortly after that when I was nine.  To this day, those little plastic bricks remain my ethereal line to a father I barely knew.

Over four years ago in 2020, I purchased a set that tickled my fancy.  This is no surprise; I have many Lego sets.  However, this set was one for The White House.  Though I might have built it whenever I wanted, the notion of building it during the Trump presidency filled me with profound sadness.  I refused; I set it aside.  On January 20, 2021, shortly after President Biden’s inauguration, I finally opened the roughly 1500-piece set and started building it.  I finished by evening, but still on Inauguration Day.

Continue reading “Dismantling my White House” →

I connected a Wacom drawing tablet to my home computer many years ago.  I used it with drawing programs on the computer rather than a conventional mouse.  While it worked well, my next dilemma was the need to switch back and forth between the mouse and the drawing pen.  To streamline the use of both devices, I did what made sense at the time.  I started to use one of these left-handed; I chose to move the mouse.

Having about half a dozen computers between home and work, I changed all the mice to be left-handed.  I reversed the function of the two mouse buttons and moved the mouse to the other side.  I endured the first week with excruciating futility; by the end of the second week, I could accomplish most tasks without much struggle.  However, this little activity taught me more than mere muscle memory, it gave me a new perspective on my biases.

Continue reading “The myth around racial guilt” →

A friend once chatted me out of the blue with an accusation like, “Stop making me look like an asshole!”  This is a friend with whom I had no recent interactions, so my mind naturally raced to find the offending reference to him; I found none.  However, I didn’t deny that I did it, I don’t remember doing it.  My disposition leaned towards the apologetic while I continued to chat to determine the source of the offense.

As it happens, the post that offended my friend did not refer to him directly.  It didn’t even refer to a particular political party or even group.  It simply referred to a behavior.  I posted a link to this article, with the following comment:

This is the definition of homophobia:
“dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people.”

Here’s an idea, if you don’t like being labeled homophobic, maybe you shouldn’t pass laws that are prejudiced against homosexual people.

It’s quite literally what it means. Either own the fact that you are homophobic or repeal the law; I’d prefer the latter.

Continue reading “The Ambiguity of Mind Reading” →