For decades I had a Rubik’s cube as a permanent fixture on my desk at work. I first learned to solve it during middle school. I got one at a bookstore close to the family restaurant. This deluxe unit had tiles instead of stickers. When I first got it, it bore the trademark Rubik’s logo on a center square, but it rubbed off long ago. This very same cube sat in my office decades later. In some ways, this little device not only provided much of my amusement when I was young, but it also defined part of my identity. I was that guy who could solve a Rubik’s cube; it was distinctive.
Solving a Rubik’s cube takes me about two minutes. Much of it is muscle memory, much like driving a car. You may think about what you want to do in general, but don’t necessarily remember the individual actions. Much of my time spent at work involved pondering best approaches to engineering problems. First, I’d pick up the cube and start tinkering with it for a while. Second, as I solved the cube it occupied my mind just enough that I may have a breakthrough. I was able to trigger diffused thinking; it is truly a wondrous thing.
It’s more than just about the cube
Though my desk was known for being cluttered, the Rubik’s cube sat literally on my desk. As friends would come by my office, many would pick it up and play with it. Naturally, some came to discover that it was considerably tougher to put it back in its solved state than they anticipated. However, many knew how to solve it. For those of us who spent time learning how to do this, we were at different levels of proficiency. The one thing I found fascinating about my friends and that little puzzle is the number of people who knew how to solve it. Anecdotally, about 30%-40% of my teammates are able to solve it.
In my middle school, I may have been the only person who knew how to solve it; I was the only person of whom I was aware in my middle school. I looked it up; statistically, fewer than 5.8% of the world’s population can solve the Rubik’s cube, that’s about 1 in every 17 people. Do I believe that my friends were lying about their abilities? No, of course not.
The explanation is pretty simple. It is precisely the type of person who is most interested in solving this puzzle that is most likely to study engineering or computer science. My teammates all graduated from college and mostly in technical fields. Once I started working, the vast majority of my friends are similar in that regard. Basically friends, those in my social circle, are unlike the rest of the world population. I’m not saying that they’re necessarily better or worse, but they simply have different life experiences.
This is true about anyone else; your friends are also unlike the rest of the world population.
Your experiences affect your intuition, which may mislead you
We can think about this logically and mathematically. It makes sense. After all, there’s a reason why you congregate with them, and there’s a reason why you get along; this sets your group apart from others. You are different. This is okay; just understand that you have different life experiences. This is not a criticism; these are just the facts. The world is composed of many diverse experiences, and this just makes sense.
The truly subtle point of this diversity is this… Why do we so easily dismiss other’s accounts as not realistic when we know that our own life experiences are skewed? If we know that our own personal viewport is but a small fraction of the entire human experience, then our ‘gut feel’ is, by definition, wrong.
Let’s say something freakish happens, like someone dies from being struck by a falling asteroid. A falling asteroid doesn’t have consciousness; it doesn’t pick one particular person to flatten like a pancake. Our collective experiences are going to be pretty much the same.
However, this is why our ‘intuition’ is profoundly dangerous. We use this same logic and deduce that our life experiences are similar to other’s life experiences; they’re not. We conclude that their accounts as at best wildly exaggerated and at worst outright lies; they’re not. Their stories speak to a reality that is completely unfamiliar to yours, and they can tell the truth. Both of these statements can be true.
How this manifest itself
Years ago, I listened to a woman vent about how there are different standards for women at the workplace. In this particular instance, she mentioned that women may behave precisely the same as men, yet they are evaluated differently. She maintained that women are reprimanded for being assertive for the very same behavior. I thought that she was overreacting. I believed that there may be an isolated instance where this occurred, but there’s no way that this is generally true. It turns out that I was wrong; this is generally true.
When you literally witness an account of a black person pulled over while completely abiding the law and given a warning for driving five miles under the speed limit. Perhaps your mind should not conclude that ‘this one police officer is just a bad apple’; this motorist experiences this so frequently that he was ready to capture it on video. I understand that this may not happen to you, but you’re not black. Black drivers are statistically 20% more likely to be pulled over for traffic stops; in some places 440% more likely. Remember your life experiences are, by definition, different from theirs.
I tell the stories of how people target Asian-Americans with hate crimes. I mention the 84-year-old grandfather who was tacked and killed in a parking lot. There’s also the recent local ‘rock in a sock’ attack of a schoolteacher as well as the stabbing of an Asian man. If I mention that I’m apprehensive about going out in public, will you label me an alarmist? From 2019 to 2020 there was a 149% increase in Asian hate crime; this is as much as 363% increase in certain cities. Your life experiences are, by definition, different from mine.
Let’s collectively listen with empathy and compassion
We want to sleep well at night; we want to believe that our country is not misogynistic nor racist. You may not have personally seen it, so you don’t believe it exists; it does. For those of you who maintain that our country is neither misogynistic nor racist, how much evidence to the contrary do you need to change your mind?
Generally, the police already pull over black drivers 20% more frequently. If I may be so blunt, what is the threshold of racist? Does 40% cross that threshold? Is it 440% like it is in San Francisco? Is it 1200% like it is in Bellaire, Texas? What is the number where you’ll finally admit beyond contestation that it is a pervasive racist problem and not just ‘a few bad apples’?
How many stories of people attacking Asian grandparents do we need before it crosses the threshold of ‘credible’? How many kids need to be stabbed in the face when shopping with their fathers? What percentage of our Asian population need to be affected before it crosses the threshold of ‘anecdotal’ or ‘outlier’?
You understand that your life experiences are different than others. You listen to others tell their stories. Why isn’t it within the realm of possibility that this occurs not only occasionally but regularly? Why isn’t it within the realm of possibility that this is not the exception, but instead the norm? Instead of anchoring on the premise that life is indeed as safe and fair as you experience, maybe entertain the idea that it is considerably less safe and fair for many of us who are different from you.
Furthermore, come join us; we could use another voice.