Month: September 2024

Gum in my hair.  Riding the 407-numbered school bus home from Parkway Middle School made me the target of a number of indignities; one of them was bullies spitting gum in my hair.  These boys sat immediately behind me and tormented me on the miles long ride to the bus stop.  On most days, they simply poked me or slapped my head repeatedly.  On one day, I could hear them plotting, “When the bus stops, let’s jump on the Chinaman.” and did precisely that.  I remember telling our bus driver, as tears streamed down my cheeks, that I wanted a different seat.

As I walked away from that bus with a wad of gum in my hair, I approached a friend’s house.  I didn’t endure the indignity of untangling the gum from my hair; I asked my friend’s mom to simply cut it away.  Did I ever believe that they threatened my life?  No.  Did I believe that I risked serious injury?  Not really.

Continue reading “To indeed make America great again” →

On a July morning in 2014, I haul a bag with me into my office; it weighs twenty-three pounds.  I participate in a long-standing tradition at Microsoft.  Upon your work anniversary, you bring in a pound of m&m’s for each year of tenure.  Today, I cross that threshold into 23 years.  Truthfully, I didn’t always participate, I started at 18 years (with 18 pounds) and have participated ever since.  I got the bulk of those at Costco; occasionally, I’d get custom printed m&m’s.

When I first floated the idea with my wife in the preceding months, she marveled, “How do you plan to dispense them?”  I simply responded with “a large bowl”.  This horrified her, and she insisted that I can’t do that.  Eventually, I landed on pouring them into a large plastic jug.  In order for you to get your candy fix, you’d need to pick it up and pour them into a cup.  How did I pour them into the jug?  I cut the bottom off a gallon jug, turned it upside down, and used it as a funnel.  It works well.

Continue reading “Why carry the weight?” →